Another part of my Once Upon a Time love story This part comes before The Box (But I forgot I had written it!)
I remember the day I first knew of her other, I already knew that she did something I was not allowed to be involved with one day a month on the third Thursday, always that day and never another. I had not long moved into her house and she was teaching me to stop counting and I had no phone or watch to count the time by my world revolved around her and her routine.
I began to work for her the week before that as she did not want me ’unavailable’ when she wanted me. I opened a bank account and she deposited money into it every week and still does. I never touch it apart from buying her gifts as I am always with her and she always buys me anything she thinks I need. It’s funny I never seem to want for anything she filled me days and nights with everything I could ever need without me even asking. All her months of listening and asking had her inside me deeper than anyone had been before.
My routine was the same every day when she left for work I would soak in the tub and shave. She likes me smooth and it was something I had never done before. It is my favourite part of the day now when I shave there. She was teaching me to not be embarrassed to say the name and gave me a different name every day to call it. But in my head it is still there and it although I think she can tell I still think of it that way. Shaving ‘it’ turns me on and makes me feel sexual when I look at myself in the mirror and I look forward to it every day. As I lay in the tub that day thinking of the following day I played with my smooth lips and wondered what she did.
I can still feel the jump my heart made when I realised she was standing at the door watching me. “Ah not so prim and proper as you would have me believe, lying there playing with your cunt?” As she said that word my face reddened. I said nothing beginning to know the right time to speak or be quiet. She taught me grace and I now listen where before I waited to talk. I listen to hear what I can of her and what she likes and dislikes, I try to please her as she pleases me.
She said that day “It’s my day tomorrow….” And I waited for the explanation of what her day actually was. She knelt beside the bath picking up the sponge and soaping it began to wash me. I was sure she could see my heart pounding below the water and if not see it at least feel it beating under her hand. I waited for her to continue to speak holding my breath before she eventually spoke and I breathed in.
“I see my …..” she trailed off and then looked me in the eyes, what did she see there that day I wonder. I like to think that she saw my total devotion to her as she told me that she saw someone else. “I see my pet every third Thursday and have for years.” She went from a soft look to a hard as she gave me my instructions; I am still surprised by that. “You will work at the club tomorrow night as the books need updating. You will not however enter the club or go in there you will arrive and leave by the back door which leads straight into the office and I want you home around 10pm. Do you understand?” She continued to wash me as I nodded to which her response was to squeeze one of my nipples tightly. “Yes” I uttered between my teeth and the pain she was causing me.
Through the water I still remember the feel of how wet I was despite being under water and throbbing with what she was doing. “And for that you will kneel at the bedroom door when you return and not move until I tell you to, oh and naked too put all your clothes in the laundry basket.” Through tears I nodded saying “yes” she made me feel dizzy when she spoke to me like that, it excited me to the point I would do anything and that was something she said we would have to work on. I shouldn’t want to do anything there had to be boundaries even between us. I have those boundaries now but then I would have died for her if she asked. It was all so new to me I loved and adored her with a passion that was reckless and naïve.
The next day came and I walked to the club feeling jealous of this other who took my time with her, I realised then that I had no idea whether it was a man or woman. Fiona had never given any hints at all but then she never said very much and still does not. Sitting in the office later that night I realised with a panic that I hadn’t been paying attention and that I had no idea of what time it might be.
I opened the office door and looked outside into the night hoping for some idea of what time it could be. Sitting back down I thought of my walk to the club and realised that I had saw the clock in the high street and it said 6pm. Then I mentally calculated what I had been working on all night and realised that it must be nearly time that I headed back. Putting the light off and locking up I walked quickly back home. The bedroom light was still on which made me a little anxious, what if I was early or even worse what if I was late.
Letting myself in I couldn’t hear anything and I prayed that I had it right; she liked it when I got it right but thinking back now I knew that I was early. As I stripped off and knelt outside the bedroom door I closed my eyes when I realised for sure and I could see her back her arm raised in the air to bring the paddle down. I knew better than to try and leave then she would have heard me of that I was sure. She missed nothing that went on in the house at all. As I knelt there with my eyes squeezed tight I felt her stand in front of me and grab my chin raising my head to face her. “You’re early love” Her words although nice did not convey anything nice, I knew she was furious with me and my interruption to what she was doing.
“Since you are here you can watch the rest of this” she said as she walked through the bedroom door I could see her other back lying on the bed and I instantly closed my eyes to stop the tears from falling. I was gutted it was another woman I had to compete with and I had no right to be watching her she hadn’t invited me. As I screwed my eyes shut I felt the sting of her hand across my face so hard that I fell over. “I said to watch” I knelt watching her walk to the cupboard and take out a whip with several leather thongs on it with knots at each end. That was going to hurt I was sure, as Fiona swung at her I gasped out loud yet she made no sound other than to thank her in a soft voice. Again and again she swung at her and I knew that I would have begged for her to stop by now if I had been the one lying there. As I knelt there I began to cry and when Fiona saw me she walked over and shut the door so that I could no longer see.
I wonder now why she shut the door, was it to save me or to save her from my tears for this other who shared my love. As I knelt there waiting time seemed to stand still and I wakened to Fiona shaking me awake where I had fallen asleep lying on my side but still kneeling lying there. As I tried to stand my legs wouldn’t hold me. She picked me up that night and carried me to the bed that had so recently held another who she had loved enough to hurt. I lay in her arms all night that night, no sex no play, nothing just held there in her arms until I slept.